#sorry i am on an EPIC high since they dropped a new album

[theweepingegg]

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!

[bthenoise]

We’re Starting To Lose It So We Made A Fake Music Award Show To Remember The Quarantine By

We are losing our minds and we aren’t talking figuratively like The Pixies. Every morning waking up in quarantine feels like an episode of Punk’d. 

Where is Aston Kutcher -- oh right, it’s 2020 -- Where is Chance The Rapper? we ask ourselves as we peel ourselves out of bed for what feels like the millionth time.   

Seriously, though. We know you guys are feeling the same way too. We read the tweets. We see the TikToks. Ya’ll are losing your goddamn minds just like us. 

The good thing is, to help with this sense of craziness as best as we possibly can (which isn’t saying much, we aren’t doctors after all -- shout out to all the amazing medical teams out there!) we have constructed the first and hopefully last 2020 Noise Quarantine Awards.

Featuring highly coveted awards such as Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government and Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To, the awards below are meant to shine a light on all the positive things to come out of 2020. 

We know it sounds like an impossible task to put “2020″ and “postive” in the same sentence but somehow we did it. 

Check out the awards below.   

Fantastic Features Award

Silverstein - A Beautiful Place To Drown

Honestly, there are probably about ten different awards we could give Silverstein’s sensational LP A Beautiful Place To Drown. From start to finish, this is hands down one of the band’s best albums yet. However, for the sake of this very serious and very made-up award show, we are happy to present the scene staples with the Fantastic Features Award. 

Not only did the band include familiar favorites such as Beartooth’s Caleb Shomo, Simple Plan’s Pierre Bouvier and Underoath’s Aaron Gillespie, but they also went out of their way to include other artists such as emerging rapper Princess Nokia and Intervals’ guitarist Aaron Marshall. Now if that doesn’t deserve an award, we don’t know what does.  

Back Off Pit Daddies Cause This Song Slaps Award

A Day To Remember - “Mindreader”

But there’s no breakdown! How am I supposed to mosh to this? Would you quit your whining? It’s pretty much impossible for A Day To Remember to write a bad song. And sorry to break it to you pit warriors, they definitely didn’t start with their newest track “Mindreader.

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Matrix Movie

Code Orange - Underneath 

Does this one really come as a surprise? Essentially creating their own genre of technology-influenced metalcore (computer core, maybe?), Code Orange’s Underneath is the perfect soundtrack to any type of action-packed, dark web-based, sci-fi thriller like The Matrix trilogy. Now would you like the red pill or the blue pill?  

The Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award

The Ghost Inside - “Aftermath”

A world without new music from The Ghost Inside is a world we don’t want any part of. Thankfully, for the first time since their tragic bus crash back in 2015, the metalcore maestros have returned with the hard-hitting and incredibly emotional track “Aftermath” taken from their soon-to-be-released self-titled album. So for that, the least we could do is present the band with the Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award.  

Honorable Mention: D.R.U.G.S (aka Craig Owens) - “King I Am”

Best Song To Listen To On Repeat And Realize You Successfully Killed Two And A Half Hours Of Your Quarantine

Loathe - “Screaming”

There is nothing made up about this whatsoever. We seriously thank Loathe for creating mind-altering music that transports you to a new dimension.  “Screaming” is a gem and the band deserves to be awarded for it. Oh, and also, I Let It In And It Took Everything is an amazing record everyone needs to hear ASAP.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To

Violent Soho - Everything Is A-OK

We’re not sure exactly what it is about Australia’s Violent Soho but they always seem to bring the deepest and darkest emotions out of us. Their latest LP Everything Is A-OK is no different. From track one to track ten, the band’s first new album since 2016 is an emotional magnet attracting feeling after feeling leaving us desperate for a drinking buddy and a good cry.

The If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award

August Burns Red - Guardians

August Burns Red has been a prominent staple of the heavy music scene for years. Since bursting out of Lancaster, PA with 2005′s Thrill Seeker, the two-time Grammy-nominated act has been a constant source of inspiration with their bruising, top-notch musicianship. Fifteen years later, with the release of their ninth studio album Guardians, the metalcore vets are still as heavy and hard-hitting as ever deserving of our If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award.   

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Season Of Black Mirror

Enter Shikari - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible

Enter Shikari is easily one of the most unpredictable bands in our scene. One minute you think you have them and their eclectic sound pinned down, then the next they release their genre-shattering LP Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible. With cinematic twists and turns from the rock-oriented opener “THE GREAT UNKNOWN” to the cosmic tornado that is “{ The Dreamer’s Hotel }” and circus-themed “Waltzing Off The Face Of The Earth,” Enter Shikari’s spellbinding LP is a perfect fit for something just as fascinating as the next season of Netflix’s Black Mirror.

Best Album To Get Your Medical Degree To

Vermicide Violence - The Praxis Of Prophylaxis 

We understand it’s not easy to comprehend deathcore lyrics. However, if you’re in need of a good study buddy while you prepare for the boards, look no further than Jarrod Alonge’s new parody album The Praxis Of Prophylaxis. Covering high-end medical topics such as vaccines, gingivitis, asthma and more, Vermicide Violence’s new LP is sure to help a lot more than those Grey’s Anatomy re-runs.    

The Tasmanian Devil Award

Rotting Out - Ronin

The Tasmanian Devil award is a highly coveted prize (possibly one of our most coveted) given to the album with hands down the most circle-pit-inducing tracks. While there have been some pretty good options this year, the record that stands out the most is Rotting Out’s first new album in over seven years, Ronin. Without going too far into detail -- because honestly, it’s pretty obvious why we picked this record -- if you’re able to stand still while listening to these fiery ass songs, you’re probably a cop.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To Part Two

Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces, Everyone

Really? You’re gonna complain we used the same category twice in a made-up award show only created cause we’re stuck living fucking Groundhog Day over and over again? Instead, how about you put that same energy into enjoying Spanish Love Songs’ brilliant, tear-jerking album Brave Faces, Everyone. You won’t regret it.

Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government

Anti-Flag - 20/20 Vision

Regardless of if you’re really into politics or not, it’s practically impossible at this point to not swear at our so-called “leaders” up in Washington DC. So if you’re looking for the best album to fuel your hatred for the Head Cheeto In Charge and all his helpless minions, look no further than Anti-Flag’s powerful 20/20 Vision.

Honorable Mention: The Homeless Gospel Choir - This Land Is Your Landfill

The Album Most Likely To Get You Out Of Mosh Pit Retirement

Polaris - The Death Of Me

This record is the definition of “slaps.” From beginning to end, Polaris’ punishing new album The Death Of Me is a heavy-duty rollercoaster ride that will leave you with a melted off face and an endless desire to jump back in the pit and crack a few skulls.  

Best Album To Rip A Phat Riff To

Hot Mulligan - You’ll Be Fine

Hot Mulligan are a bunch of jokesters but there’s nothing funny about their new album You’ll Be Fine -- alright, maybe a few of the song titles are a little silly. The band’s latest release is a guitarist’s delight with ringing mathcore-like riffs that will leave you both jubilant and jealous. Case in point, give the infectious opener “OG Bule Sky” a spin and get back to us.   

Honestly, Fight Us, This Song Is A Bop Award

All Time Low feat Blackbear - “Monsters”

We know what some of you cool cats and kittens are thinking: But this isn’t pop-punk!? Since when does Blackbear get a scene pass? Listen up. No, this song isn’t “Dear Maria, Count Me In” but who cares? It’s 2020 and musical genres are dead. Enjoy the good music while you can before we’re all dead too, okay?

Honorable mention: PVRIS - “Deadweight”

Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To

The Chats - “Drunk N Disorderly”

If you haven’t had the fear of potentially wiping your ass with a washcloth over the last few months, this award probably isn’t for you and your 30 extra rolls of toilet paper. However, for us regular folk who have a limited supply of TP, The Chats’ fast-paced High Risk Behavior track “Drunk N Disorderly” is the perfect song for stumbling into someone’s home and swiping a roll or two.  

Wow We Didn’t See That Coming Award

Falling In Reverse - “The Drug In Me Is Reimagined”

Ronnie Radke has never been afraid to push boundaries musically. Whether it’s rapping on a track or dropping an upbeat, synth-laced single like “Bad Girls Club,” the former Escape The Fate frontman always seems to have something new up his sleeve. This year, to help celebrate 2011′s The Drug In Me Is You becoming gold-certified, Radke and Co. released an epic piano-lead version of their fan-favorite title track. The results? A majestic dream-like experience worth repeating over and over again.

If You Hurt Mother Earth One More Time We Swear You’re Dead Award 

In Hearts Wake - “Worldwide Suicide”

There’s been a lot of talk about global warming over the past few years. Recently, while we’ve all been stuck at home, skies have become clearer than ever as wild animals roam the barren streets. This is a dream come true for earth-friendly metalcore act In Hearts Wake. 

Now as some cities start to reopen, let us remind you: If you even think about going back to your wasteful, pollution-heavy ways, we and In Hearts Wake will come for you with the same force and brutality as heard on their newest track “Worldwide Suicide.” Watch your back.

Sure It’s Different But Still Kicks Ass Award

The Used - Heartwork

This isn’t The Used you knew in junior high. Bert McCrackin and Co. have returned with a fresh-faced 2020 LP that is sure to make you feel some type of way. Featuring guest appearances from members of Blink-182, FEVER 333 and Beartooth, The Used’s latest is a heavy-yet-dancy addition to their beloved-and-never-stale catalog.  

Better Not Sleep On This Record Award

Charmer - Ivy

Look, you literally have nothing but time on your hands. Why not spend it discovering new music from bands who deserve your attention? Seriously, turn off Love Is Blind and Too Hot To Handle and give Charmer’s moody 11-track release Ivy a try. You can thank us later.

Honorable Mention: Big Loser - Love You, Barely Living

Holy Shit We Can’t Believe That Just Happened Award

Dance Gavin Dance - “Calentamiento Global”

Four words we’ve all been thinking since Dance Gavin Dance dropped their highly anticipated album Afterburner: Tilian can speak Spanish!?

Giving the entire Swancore community a jaw-dropping moment with their new experimental track “Calentamiento Global,” in the song, DGD’s brawny frontman shows a little latin flavor with lyrics like “Te adoro, mi reina. Eres la única que veo.” Unsurprisingly, like most Dance Gavin Dance (or should we say Baile Gavin Baile) experiments, the post-hardcore act totally nailed it. 

The Back To Basics Award

The Amity Affliction - Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them

The Amity Affliction caught a lot of flack for their experimental 2018 release Misery. While entirely unwarranted as the metalcore vets were just looking to expand their sound, for their 2020 LP Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them, the Aussie outfit returned to form with their breakdown-heavy musicianship and brooding lyricism. Still have doubts? How about you give “All My Friends Are Dead” a spin or two.  

Skankin’ Pickle Award

Skatune Network - Ska Goes Emo, Vol. 1

Here’s a fun one. Adding to the list of things we never thought we’d see in 2020, go ahead and add a ska record covering some of your emo favs like My Chemical Romance, Paramore and Blink-182. Already known for his creative covers, Skatune Network really outdid himself this time around with his Ska Goes Emo LP. Who would have guessed you could skank so well to “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)?” 

The 2020 Glow-Up Award

The Word Alive - Monomania

The Word Alive has seen a lot of change over the course of their ten-year career. From 2010′s hard-hitting album Deceiver to this year’s impressive LP Monomania, the band has really grown into who they are today. For the first time, instead of putting out the music they’re expected to release, the Arizona act really stepped out of their comfort zone and dropped the music they wanted to make resulting in one of this year’s freshest and best so far.

Chocolate Covered Cranberries Award

Four Year Strong - Brain Games

For five long grueling years, we went without new music from easycore noisemakers Four Year Strong. This February, that all changed with the release of the band’s killer seventh studio album Brain Pain. Bringing the guitar-lead heaviness fans have come to love over the years along with their infectious pop-punk-leaning songwriting, Four Year Strong’s new record is the perfect balance of sour and sweet -- like chocolate covered cranberries! Who’s hungry?    

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2007

18 to 19 years old. Things were slowly starting to get better and better.

15 honorable mentions, but this is still only a top 10. What an incredible, amazing year for music. My favorite hit song for the entire decade is in there! I think everyone already knows what that is because I am, in fact, extremely predictable.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

Second to third year of my History studies. Met a great guy. So great, in fact, that I married him in 2019 because we’re still living together 13 years later. Got my first summer job but spent my first pay on driving lessons, because, again, I needed to get out of my parents’ appartment and knowing how to drive would be good to find a job. I had a much better access to internet. I still had great grades. Things were getting much better.

I stopped making my personal lists of favorite songs that year, and I had an mp3 player, which really opened a world of possibilities even if you could only put something like 40 songs on it, at best.

I was still reading Rock Mag a lot. As you can see, the biggest controversy at the time was what was emo and what wasn’t.

We were alright.

As far as non-elligible songs go, well there’s I Still Remember by Bloc Party (and the fact I can’t put it on the list is a heartbreak and a half) and basically everything from Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails. Nightwish, Epica and Within Temptation all had pretty good albums too.

Here’s a metric ton of honorable mentions first!

Snow (Red Hot Chili Peppers) - Perfectly pleasant song.

D.A.N.C.E (Justice) - Never understood why this was so popular. Still good.

Love is Gone (David Guetta) - Heyyyy another repetitive dance track, perfect.

Miracle (Cascada), Smack That (Akon), Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol), SexyBack (Justin Timberlake) and Say It Right (Nelly Furtado & Timbaland) - Still elligible songs for that year. Still great songs. Still not making the list.

Butterfly (Superbus) - I didn’t like this band, but I liked that song.

Thanks for the Memories (Fall Out Boy) - Same here basically.

Who Knew (Pink) - Not her best, but not her worst by a mile either.

Walk It Out (Unk) - Stayed in my head for days, I swear. I have no idea what the general opinion about it is nowadays. Maybe that’s a humiliating pick and I genuinely have no idea.

Crank That (Soulja Boy) - I do, however, know that the fact this very nearly made the list IS hilarious.

Alive (Mondotek) - Laugh all you want about the tektonik phenomenon, this is still a banger and a half.

Sound of Freedom (Bob Sinclar & Cutee B) - Not as good as Rock This Party. That’s the only thing I can say against it.

Umbrella (Rihanna) - This is an edit because holy shit I forgot Umbrella. It very nearly made the list too. Sorry.

And now, possibly one of the best top tens yet.

10 - This Ain’t A Scene, It’s An Arms Race (Fall Out Boy)

US: #32 / FR: #71

Almost everyone got the lyrics wrong. The title is way too long. I really don’t like this band of pretentious idiots; if you’re gonna be pretentious at least write about something more grand and epic than your own navel, and go all out (more on that later). Nobody ever really cared about their supposed feud with Panic! At The Disco. And, to make matters even worse, the singer looked exactly like the terrible ex I had punched in the face the previous year.

This is still a damn good song and it’s on the list instead of any of the honorable mentions.

RIP me.

9 - How To Save A Life (The Fray)

US: #24 / FR: Not on the list

You already know I loved The Fray. This song could have apparently also made the previous list but it’s on this one instead. It was overplayed. I still loved it.

8 - U + Ur Hand (Pink)

US: #29 / FR: Not on the list

In 2002, I bought Pink’s Missundaztood album and as you might remember this was the second album I ever bought in my life, right before the gigantic trainwreck that highschool was.

The fact that about five years (that felt like twelve) later, Pink was on the other side of that trainwreck, back in my earphones, just as energetic and fun as she was before, was nothing short of heartwarming.

7 - Je Suis Un Homme (Zazie)

US: Not on the list / FR: #43

I’m not gonna beat around the bush. This song is terrifying.

Here’s a translation. Yeah, it’s about humanity destroying the Earth and itself in various ways, and it’s preachy, but holy shit, how can something be so bleak, so scary and still so catchy. It’s a mystery.

6 - Double Je (Christophe Willem)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

When I first heard this song, I genuinely thought that was also Zazie and I was like oh wow, she’s learned to have fun again after that bleak, bleak song.

But no. She only wrote it, and it’s sung by this guy. It’s relatable as hell (”When I grow up it’s gonna be easy, I’ll finally know what I am”, “Who’s fault is it? / I’m something and its opposite / Double me”). The fact that a guy had this kind of voice and that a ton of people loved it (enough for him to win a big talent show and make this the second biggest song of the year!) also did wonders for my dysphoria, by the way.

5 - Ta Meuf (Faf Larage)

US: Not on the list / FR: #19

This is a song applying the most obnoxious rap and hip hop clichés about gangsters (and guys in general) to a woman, and she ends up terrorising all the guys and they’re realising these clichés might, in fact, be really toxic.

It’s a great song about gender roles usually seen in this kind of music and instead of being preachy, it’s hilarious, and well-written (I mean, it’s Faf Larage, it’s a given, but still). Check it out.

4 - Relax Take It Easy (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #12

All hail the new king of pop. He was here to stay and what a breath of fresh air he was. This was very much his year in Europe as soon as the album Life In Cartoon Motion dropped.

My significant other absolutely loved this album and we listened to it wayyyy, way too much, and even with all the radio overplay AND the overplay when we were together, I still can’t get enough of this album.

3 - Love Today (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #39

Here he is again!

If this was any other year this would top the list very easily. What were the US even thinking back then to not let this guy chart. Why isn’t Mika a huge star over there too. What is your problem guys. Do you have something against fun or what.

Anyway, here’s possibly the best comment on the music video:

I mean. You’re not wrong.

2 - What I’ve Done (Linkin Park)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

Aaaaaaand they’re back. And they’re once again topping my list. Lord have mercy on me. I loved them so much.

This was the first step into their modern sound, less raw, more U2. A couple of years later, when Lacuna Coil released Shallow Life, I used to joke that Lacuna Coil was trying to sound more and more like Linkin Park, that Linkin Park was trying to sound more and more like U2, and that U2 was trying to sound more and more like boring garbage and. I mean. I wasn’t wrong there.

My absolute favorite part of the song is at 2:24, when the music calms down a bit and the lyrics go “I start again / And whatever pain may come / Today this ends / I’m forgiving what I’ve done” and then the guitar explodes again. So powerful. Love it.

And now you’re probably thinking “so... Linkin Park was back, and with such a top quality song and it’s NOT your #1? After you put a Linkin Park song or a Linkin Park remix at #1 for three years in a row in 2002, 2003 AND 2004? What’s going on, Jo? Are you okay?”

Oh I’m more than okay. Friends and enemies, here comes the absolute best hit song of the entire decade and possibly of my entire life so far.

You probably already know what it is.

1 - Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance)

US: #59 / FR: Not on the list (shame on you French charts)

I know I keep complaining about stuff I love not charting, or charting but not high enough to make any year-end list, but... How was this even allowed to chart. Why and how did it end up on the US year-end list when so many more radio-friendly hits I loved couldn’t even scratch the hot 100.

I’m not complaining at all. I’m just baffled.

Play the first note on a piano and I’m already a wreck. Heck, I’m pretty sure everyone from my generation is. It was basically our very own Bohemian Rhapsody. It still is. Where do I even start.

Oh. I know. Look at this page from a 2006 Rock Mag, it’s gold.

Yep, they highlighted The Open Door by Evanescence and praised it, and were like “this is very risky and ambitious and we’re not sure you’re gonna like this” for The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance. Hilarious in hindsight.

A few months later, the same magazine was desesperately using double pages to interview them because everyone adored the album.

So in case you’ve never listened to it (I’m... not even sure why I’m doing this since I’m pretty sure even people who don’t like this type of music have tried to out of sheer curiosity), it’s a concept album about a guy (...possibly. I mean there’s a lot of trans and/or nonbinary hints in the lyrics and did you really NEED to make all of this more relatable? What the hell guys) dying of cancer, remembering all the good and the bad things that happened in his life, and since his fondest memory is seeing a marching band once as a child, death arrives in the form of a marching band. He then settles some scores with his friends and family, says his goodbyes, and... and doesn’t die in the end. He ends up surviving the whole ordeal, and the last song, Famous Last Words, is one the most incredible things I’ve ever heard. It’s so propulsive, uplifting and motivating. “I am not afraid to keep on living / I am not afraid to walk this world alone”. Holy. Shit. Sadly, it’s not elligible.

Welcome to the Black Parade is basically the centerpiece of the album, as you already know or might have guessed, but here’s the thing. It also works out of context because there’s already an entire narrative arc within this one song. It’s larger than life. It’s about death and the meaning of existence. It basically contains all the stages of grief, and the conclusion it reaches is that this guy will be remembered and therefore, he will transcend death. It’s full of rage and passion and triumph. There’s key changes. There’s tempo changes. There’s everything. It’s a rock opera in a single song. I put it on my mp3 player immediately after listening to the album, and it’s still on my mp3 player today. I never, ever removed it. I listened to it countless times and every single time, it feels like rewatching one of my favorite movies.

Best hit song of 2007 by a mile. Best hit song of the decade, hands down, and now that the 2010s are over, I’m pretty confident in saying nothing has topped it so far. I’d say “fight me” if I thought this was a controversial opinion, but it’s not even that controversial.

And that feels damn right.

Next up: Is... is this a list with actual filler? Are you telling us there was ONE mediocre year for music in the 2000s? Sounds fake but okay

[hystericalrogertaylor]

Reconnecting (Chapter Thirteen)

Pairing: Ben Hardy!Roger Taylor X Reader

Word count: 3370

Summary: (Y/n) and Roger have been friends since the cradle. When they’re suddenly pulled apart and reconnected years later, they both can tell that the relationship has evolved. They lead very different lifestyles now. Can they continue what they had, or go for something more, with this gap between them?

Warnings: PHYSICAL! ABUSE! Violence, knives, blood, cussing 

A/N: Sorry, I know the scene in Foster’s office isn’t complete, but I haven’t been able to see the movie enough times to memorize it haha. Enjoy! 

Master list

Spotify playlist

~~~

You woke up on Roger’s couch the next morning, but the man himself was nowhere to be found. He’d left a note for you, saying he had gone out to get breakfast and would be back soon. You stood up, placing the damp and squishy ice pack on the floor; you didn’t want to damage the wood of the coffee table. You noticed your limp was less pronounced as you made your way into the bathroom.

You heard the front door open a few minutes later. “(Y/n), I got pancakes!” Roger called out.

“Pancakes!’ you shouted in excitement, causing an echo in the large bathroom. You heard Roger laugh from the kitchen.

You rushed out, sitting down at the kitchen bar. “Give me pancakes! Gimme gimme gimme!” You made grabby hands at the paper sack from a local breakfast joint.

“Chill out, jeez.” Roger chuckled, getting out a plastic container of pancakes and setting it in front of you. “Don’t eat the container.”

As you dug in, you were grateful that he seemed to be ignoring what happened last night. You were glad things weren’t awkward. You wouldn’t have known how to deal with that.

“Do you need to borrow some clothes?” he asked. “Or do you just want to wear the same thing to work?”

Oh yeah, work. “Yeah, borrowing some clothes would be nice.” You would’ve been completely fine wearing the same outfit you had on, but you weren’t about to pass up the opportunity to wear Roger’s clothes; you were sure they were comfortable and smelled nice.

Roger went back into his bedroom, coming back with a Queen t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. “These are the only things I found that could possibly fit you,” he said, setting them down on the seat next to you. “I outgrew them a while ago.”

You picked up the t-shirt, giggling. “You have a t-shirt for your own band?”

“Yeah?” Roger replied, smiling.

“Do you have another one with your face on it?,” you asked, standing up.

“Better. I have a face with my face on it.” Roger popped open his container of pancakes.

“Clever.” You went back into the bathroom, shaking your head at his goofy comment.

You stripped off your wrinkled clothes from yesterday and slipped on the clothes from Roger’s closet. You were right, they were exceptionally comfortable and smelled a lot like him. They were still slightly too big, so you tucked the shirt into the band of the sweatpants and went back out into the kitchen.

Roger looked up and dropped his fork into his container. You blushed at his gawking, looking down at your feet. “They’re still a little big, but I think they’ll work,” you said timidly.

Roger shook his head violently. “Yeah, um, okay. That’s good.” He slowly grabbed his fork out of the syrup, wiping it off with a napkin. It seemed that he didn’t want to look away, but knew he should.

You sat back down at the bar, gulping down the last few bites of pancake. You slid the container to the side, putting your elbow down on the bar and your head in your hand. You sighed, trying to figure out what to say next.

Roger finished his breakfast, taking both containers and chucking them into the trash. “Let’s head down to the studio. We’re going to be late.” You sighed, thankful for his words; you didn’t have to talk about last night.

You stood up, went to pick up your ice pack, and followed him out the front door.

---

“Okay!” Sheffield shouted. “We are thiiiiis close to being done. We just need some more vocals and drums. Then, we’ll spent the next seventy-two hours editing without sleep.” He took a swig of coffee. “Yes, I am guilt tripping you. Let’s get going.”

All four boys went into the sound booth to record some background vocals. You sat on the couch, icing your rib again. Roger had tried to convince you not to do much for the next few days, just because he was worried you’d hurt yourself.

You eventually got up to stand behind Sheffield, trying to help as much as you can. Roger kept looking up over the microphone, making sure you were still okay. You’d smile and wave, making him smirk and look back down at the microphone. You could’ve sworn you saw him blush a couple of times.

Once the background vocals were done, Roger took his place behind his drums and shook himself out, letting go of some tension. He’s since taken off his jacket, and he had a sleeveless shirt on that showed the muscles in his arms, which you were enjoying, but it was also slightly ticking you off.

He got done with his drum parts fairly quickly. By the time he’d finished, he was covered in sweat and panting. “How did that sound?” he said into the microphone near him, his voice breathy. You were considerably angry at that point; it seemed like he’d rejected you just to tease you the very next day.

You pressed a button, leaning down to your microphone. “Yeah, sounded great. Come on out so Freddie can finish his parts.”

“Sweet.” Roger stood up, clapping his hands in the rhythm he’d just played as he walked out, giving Freddie a high-five as they passed. He came out of the room, sitting on the couch and grabbing his water bottle, taking several long sips. You continued to stand by Sheffield, watching Freddie and not even glancing at Roger.

Freddie performed his vocals flawlessly. This day was going by so smoothly, which you were grateful for. Yesterday had been hectic, and you were so glad that they would finish recording the album today.

Once Freddie was done, Sheffield stood up. “All right. Thank you boys, and (Y/n).” He took a long, deep breath. “Let’s do this sound mixing.”

You only needed to be at the studio for fifty hours straight instead of Sheffield’s predicted seventy-two. Everything was fitted together perfectly, making the band sound like magic. You didn’t even feel like you needed sleep, because the excitement of this new music coming together kept you wide awake. Everyone else thought differently.

“I thought rock stars didn’t need sleep.” You nudged Roger gently with your foot as he slept on the floor.

He sat up, mumbling to himself. “I’m not superhuman,” he groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Plus I haven’t had coffee in a while.”

“I could go run and get some,” you offered. “My car’s still in the parking lot from yesterday.”

“No, don’t do that.” Roger stood up, wrapping his arms around you tiredly. “Just snuggle.”

You huffed. “Roger, you either want to be with me or you don’t. Get off.” You pushed him off, walking away to distract yourself by talking to Freddie.

Around eight o’clock, two days after initially arriving at the studio with Roger, the album was finished. Everyone was either slouched on the couch or slumped against a wall. “We did it,” Brian said, about to fall asleep. “We finished A Night at the Opera.” The next second, he was snoring.

You ran a hand through your hair. “We did. Wow. That took a while.”

Roger leaned his head against the wall, groaning. “So, can we all go home now?” he asked, clearly irritated.

Sheffield nodded, standing up and stretching. “Yes, you may all go home. You’re meeting at Foster’s office two days from now at noon. Freddie, don’t be late.”

Freddie feigned offence. “Excuse you, this is profiling.”

“No, it’s not,” you said, chuckling. “You’re the one who’s always late.”

“All right, true.” Freddie grabbed his things from a corner of the room. “I will see you all at noon on Friday.”

Slowly, everyone filed out to the parking lot. Roger immediately headed for his car, not in the mood to even say goodbye or to check on you. You frowned, getting in your own car and heading off towards home.

---

You and Roger didn’t talk until Friday at Foster’s office. You were wearing a dull blue colored pantsuit with black heels, trying to look as fancy as possible. Roger had on a black shirt and burgundy jacket, with the buttons of the shirt undone slightly, showing off the top of his chest. The two of you exchanged polite greetings before following the rest of the band, Miami, Reid, and Paul onto an elevator. You both wanted to say more, but decided against it.

You sat next to Roger on the couch of Ray Foster’s office, watching him while he listened to the album. Based only on facial expressions, you could tell he didn’t like it. Everyone else seemed to notice the same thing, but everyone was still trying to remain optimistic regardless.

Eventually, Foster sighed. “I’m not entirely sure that’s the album you promised us.”

You blinked, looking up at Freddie, who was pacing around. “No, it’s better than the album we promised you,” he began. “It’s better than any album anyone’s ever promised you, darling. It’s a bloody masterpiece.”

“It is a good album, Ray,” John Reid said, smiling.

“We prefer masterpiece,” Roger chimed in, causing you to giggle. He smirked, not looking in your direction.

“It’s expensive!” Foster said. “And as for...Bohemian…”

Brian cleared his throat. “Rhapsody,” he finished.

“Rhapsody,” Foster said, as if tasting the word. “What is that?”

“An epic poem,” Freddie clarified.

“It goes on forever, six bloody minutes!” Foster clearly wasn’t having it.

“Well, I pity your wife if you think six minutes is forever.” It took everything in you not to burst out laughing at Freddie’s comment. Paul couldn’t contain himself and snorted. “And we’re going to release it as our single.”

Foster laughed humorlessly. “Not possible. Anything over three minutes and the radio stations won’t program it.” He looked over at Reid for support.

Reid sighed. “The format is three minutes, I have to agree with Ray.”

Foster smiled. “What about ‘I’m In Love With My Car’?”

Everyone groaned, including yourself. Roger gave everyone an I-told-you-so look, clearly pleased with himself. Freddie kicked the coffee table in frustration.

“I love it. Well, that’s the kind of song teenagers can crank up the volume in their car and bang their heads to!” Foster’s expression turned sour. “‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ will never be that song.”

“‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ or nothing,” Brian said.

“All right, what about ‘You’re My Best Friend’?” Foster was trying to compromise, and the band wasn’t having it.

“Nope.”

“‘Love of my Life’?”

“Bo Rhap,” Roger said. You were shocked; he seemed to have abandoned his own song for the single.

“‘You’re My Best Friend’, or I won’t sign you,” Foster said. You widened your eyes; what were they going to do now?

Freddie stood up, walking towards the door. A few words were exchanged that you didn’t really pay attention to you. They’d worked so hard on this album, you didn’t want to see it go down the drain. “You will forever be known as the man who lost Queen.” Everyone was on their way out the door, except Paul, Reid, and Miami. You followed them, walking out last just as Freddie slammed the door.

As they ran down the hall to exit the building, you stayed by the door with your ear pressed to it. “Rockstars,” you heard Reid say jokingly.

“Mark my words!” Foster shouted. “No one will play Queen!”

You sprinted after the band, making sure they didn’t do something stupid. You held your heels in your hand so you were able to go faster. Your rib was causing you issues, but you tried to ignore it. You found them outside the building, with Freddie holding a brick in his hand. Before you could even say anything, he chucked it right through Ray Foster’s window.

“Freddie Mercury!” you shouted, putting your heels back on and stomping over to them. “What the hell!”

He wasn’t paying attention to you, because he was too busy flipping Foster off. Before you even knew what was happening, Roger grabbed your hand in his, pulling you after the rest of them.

You all stopped at a restaurant a block away, getting a table for five. Everyone else looked giddy, but you were livid.

“Why did you do that?” you spat. “If you guys want this album to see the light of day, you have to be nice to the people willing to put it out!”

Freddie shrugged. “What’s done is done, darling. We’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

You inhaled sharply. “If we just went through hell and back to make this album and you can’t release it, I’ll single handedly kill you all.”

Roger put his hand on your thigh, so no one else could see it. “Don’t stress, (Y/n). It’ll all be okay.”

You gave him a sharp glare. “You are all crazy.” You grabbed one of the complimentary glasses of water and drank the whole thing in one sip. “This better work out.”

You and Roger sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rest of the band members talk, before Roger spoke again, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “Meet me by the back exit in five minutes.” He stood up, said he was going to the bathroom, and walked away.

Five minutes later, after listening to Freddie compliment his own brick throwing abilities, you said you were going to the bathroom as well. You found the back exit, pushing it open and stepping out into the cool air. You briefly wished you had brought a jacket.

You turned to the side and saw Roger leaning on a wall, smoking a cigarette. It was then that you noticed you were in an alley between the restaurant and a grocery store.

“What do you want?” you asked, still miffed at him and the other boys.

Roger threw his cigarette to the ground, stomping it out. “Nothing,” he said. “I just wanted to talk alone.”

“About what?” You wrapped your arms around yourself.

“Us, I suppose.” He stepped a little bit closer. “I do feel bad for saying no to your advances and then trying to be romantic a couple days ago.”

“It’s fine,” you said, not noticing that you were also stepping forward a little bit. “It’s whatever.” You tried to make another step forward when your heel landed right on a rock, sending you tumbling forward. Roger reached out quickly, catching you. You looked up, straight into his mesmerizing blue eyes.

You straightened yourself up, but Roger didn’t let go. And you were pretty glad he didn’t, for some reason. “Are you hurt?” he asked, referring to your rib.

“Y-Yeah,” you stuttered. “I’m fine.”

“Okay.” Both of you were lost in each other’s eyes before Roger took initiative and brought his lips down to yours. He held you gingerly as you wrapped your arms around his neck, angling your head to the side just slightly. He put his hand on the back of your neck, holding you close to him.

The kiss eventually became more fervent. Ignoring your feelings was hard work. He pushed you against the brick wall (gently, he still didn’t want to hurt you) and you grabbed onto his partially unbuttoned shirt, pulling him closer. You could feel his chest under your touch, and you couldn’t believe that you were actually doing this again. His lips felt so good, but you also felt like spitting in his eye.

Eventually, you felt the anger take complete hold of you again. You pushed him off, almost causing him to fall on his butt. “Stop doing that!” you hissed, not wanting to attract attention from the street.

“Doing what?” he asked. His shirt was wrinkled and his lips were already slightly swollen.

“Kissing me!” You wiped your lips with the back of your hand. “Stop doing intimate things with me and then saying no to a relationship. I’m not your friends with benefits or something!”

Roger blinked, looking down at his shoes. “I’m sorry you feel that way,” he said after a while.

You scoffed. “If you did, then you wouldn’t have just kissed me again.” You walked down the alley, headed for home.

---

You opened the door and immediately heard a crash from the living room. “Not again…” you muttered, walking in there to find James absolutely shit faced and angry as all hell.

He stared at you for a few seconds before speaking. “How’d it go?” You could tell he didn’t care, he was just looking to start arguing with you.

“Terrible,” you mumbled, off in your own little world.

“Why’s that?” He dropped a glass he had in his hands, effectively shattering it against the floor. “Why’s your pantsuit wrinkled?”

“Roger kissed me again,” you whispered, thinking to yourself. It took you a second to realize who you’d said that to; you’d forgotten you were talking to your boyfriend of several years. Your hand flew to your mouth. “Oh, my God. James, it’s not what you think.”

James looked remarkably calm. “Roger, the blond one, kissed you? Again, you said?” he asked.

You sighed. “James, I’m sorry. It just happened. I’ve denied him multiple times, but he’s still--”

“Stop!” he shouted. He let out a dry laugh. “I’m being cheated on.”

“It’s not like this relationship was working out anyway,” you countered, trying to ease the tension of the whole situation.

“You could’ve broken up with me first!” he screamed. Now he was truly angry. You knew you were in danger, but didn’t know how to get out. “What the fuck were you thinking!”

“I was thinking that Roger could treat me a lot better than you could!” you shouted. What you said next spilled out of your mouth before you could stop it. “You shitty, terrible, vile excuse for a human!” You made a choking noise as James wrapped both hands around your throat, squeezing as hard as he could. He was restricting your airway; you honestly couldn't breathe.

“I’ve had about enough of you,” he growled, pushing you down to the floor, right onto some broken glass. You gasped for air, holding onto your aching throat. You turned around, watching him stalk into the kitchen. You jumped up, grimacing and brushing the glass off your knees before following him.

He was digging around in the knife drawer. You ran up behind him, grabbing his shirt and yanking him backwards. He swung a hand at you, slapping you so hard that you fell down again. He went digging around in the same drawer again as you held the side of your face.

“I’ll use this on you.” You looked up and saw he was wielding a very large butcher’s knife. “Get out, or I’ll kill you.”

You were panting. “Please, James, just calm down.”

He grabbed a random glass off the counter and chucked it at you, causing it to shatter. You shouted as glass shards embedded themselves into your skin. “Get the fuck out!”

You stood up, backing away slowly. You thought he would stay there, but he followed you, knife still raised towards your throat. “Go back into the kitchen and I’ll leave without issue,” you promised.

Almost seeming to be in a trance, James lunged forward and sunk the knife into your stomach. You screamed, suddenly finding the strength to push him away. He fell backwards, too drunk to keep himself upright anymore. You stumbled down the hallway, flinging the door open and stepping out of the house.

You already felt dizzy. The houses blurred together and you couldn’t think straight. You knew there was no way you’d keep yourself conscious long enough to get to a phone. So, you just started screaming.

“Help!” you shouted. “Someone help me! I’m bleeding out!” You looked down and saw that your blood was already beginning to pool in the grass. “Someone!”

A grouchy-looking old woman came out of her house across the street, looking ready to yell at you for being too loud. When she saw you fall to your knees, a knife protruding from your torso, she ran back into her house and called the emergency number. You passed out with the sounds of ambulances in the distance.

Taglist:

@thessxoxo @roger-bang-the-drum @slavsher  @sabbrriiinnaa  @i-ship-it-ironically @blissfully-queen@oyoke@borhapqueen92@girlpluto@secretsweetscollectionblog@bentaylorrogerhardy @16wiishes@emmieliabedelia@onevisionliz @mr-stank-i-dont-feel-so-dank (I feel like I’m forgetting someone, so message me if that’s you lmao) 

[doomedandstoned]

A Freewheeling Conversation with Temptation’s Wings

~By Shawn Gibson~

I have wanted to interview Asheville, North Carolina stoner-sludge band TEMPTATION'S WINGS for Doomed and Stoned for a while now, so this is special. I used to work with drummer Jason Gardner for a few months on a construction site, where we first met. One thing led to another and we started talking metal. The rest is history. I had a radio show at the time and told Jason to give me some music from Temptation's Wings to play it on air. Jason made a press kit and dropped it off at the radio station, which had a flyer for an upcoming show which I went to. I had them on my program at least two or three times, as well. When I see these guys live, I see my friends -- my metal family. To Jason and guitarist Micah Nix: many more years of bard’s tales, mead by the fire, and ravishing tales of Bloodshed and Conquest!

The Path EP by Temptation's Wings

Hey Micah! What's up man?

Micah: Nothing much, what's going on?

Not much it's been awhile.

Micah: I know man! How you doing?

Good. Watching a game between Syracuse and Clemson.

Micah: Cool.

Pulling for Clemson.

Micah: I'm sorry I can't agree with you on that one. (laughs)

So who do you pull for in college football?

Micah: I'd say it's better than Alabama! I'm a Carolina guy, University of North Carolina.

I remember when Temptations Wings were playing the Odditorium and Carolina Chupacabra came up from Columbia SC. You made a joke on stage towards the lead singer about having the wrong Carolina shirt on or something.

Micah: Oh yeah I remember that. (laughs)

So you guys are at practice or are you done?

Micah: Were just unloading. We had a show last Sunday. Our PA has had some feedback issues. We're moving some speakers around and trying to figure it out.

Is Jason with you?

Jason: What's up man?

How's it going?

Jason: Good. How are you?

Good. Glad to hear your voice. Great to talk to you guys! Sorry it's been so long! Please forgive me!

Micah: It's alright. Not a problem. We've missed you!

I miss you guys! I try to keep up with posts on Facebook and Instagram. I've been grateful to go to all the shows for Temptations Wings that I did! Thanks again for dedicating or mentioning me when you guys played Bloodshed and Conquest. Means a lot!

Micah: Oh, of course, man. That was our jam!

It was awesome you guys giving me a shout out when I'm in the audience! I appreciate that. So you guys have a live album you recorded out now? Tell me a little about the album.

Micah: It was our first show in [Asheville, North Carolina] as a four piece, since Chad moved over to guitar. It was the second time we played the Grey Eagle. We know they have a good system there. We were like, "Let’s record this thing live and see how it turns out ya know." If everything sounds good, we can put out a live album and show everybody a snapshot of where we are at.

Right on. What’s the name of the album?

Micah: It's called Savage Tales - Live at the Grey Eagle.

Do you guys have that on Bandcamp or where can we get this?

Micah: Yeah, that's on Bandcamp, Spotify, iTunes, Google Music. There are a couple that I've never even heard of that are streaming it. Any kind of streaming apps or sites should have it.

Following you guys over the years and not just as a friend as a fan noticing very positive reviews you guys have received. I'm proud of you guys!

Micah: Our last album Skulthor Ebonblade was on Spotify and more streaming services and was getting out to people and turns out a lot of people liked it. It was really awesome to read the positive feedback.

I'm very glad just to bear witness to your earlier days and watch the growth you have had. You've had some lineup changes and going from a three piece to a four piece band. The music is still the same. The message is still the same.

Micah: It's still kind of Bloodshed and Conquest kind of theme. We have a lot of metaphors for real life. Story telling is what we like to do.

Savage Tales-Live at The Grey Eagle by Temptation's Wings

What is something that makes you guys laugh?

Micah: I saw a collection of fart memes this morning. I laughed until I cried!

Jason: Tridents and nets. (laughs)

That is a funny combination. I've told you guys years ago I'm a mace and flail kind of guy. Do you guys still have that weapon I gave you?

Micah: (laughs) Yeah we do! It's on top of our PA.

Nice!

Micah: The club the Bandit gave us!

I saw a memory you had re posted a picture of us holding the club in the studio before or after the radio show. That shows you care about somebody to give them a weapon ya know?

Micah: Oh, I know. That's a legacy piece. One of our crown jewels.

So for anybody that doesn't know anything about Temptations Wings, what are your influences?

Micah: I think we get Black Sabbath a lot. Now that we have two guitars I think you'll be able to hear we are Iron Maiden nerds. Jason and I like going back to days of Bloodshed and Conquest where we were nuts over Amon Amarth.

Who are some Asheville bands and bands from western North Carolina you guys love to play with?

Micah: We've been wanting to play with them for a while. Labor Day weekend we played with Bask.

That was at Heavy Mountain wasn’t it?

Micah: Day one of Heavy Mountain Festival in Asheville North Carolina.

Did you stick around for day two?

Micah: Oh yeah!

I missed that one and I'm crying over it. I wish I could have seen you guys play at this. It was a sick lineup! Inter Arma, Obituary, Bask, High On Fire.

Jason: Yep. Exhorts!

I had their latest album from Prosthetic Records sent to me. Good stuff!

Jason: We saw them a few months prior in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

Sweet, Clemson touchdown. What are some good books you have read?

Micah: I just started one. I can’t remember the name. It's a new author and his first book. It has won awards for Fantasy. Dawn Of Wonder by Jonathan Renshaw. I'm only maybe a third of the way through it. It's excellent. It is about this kid living in a town that starts to have weird things happen. I don't want to give anything away. The dude is going to be a great author for many years. Jason is still reading The Never Ending Story. (laughs)

The Never Ending Story!? (laughs) It is one of the best! I wish I had a luck dragon!

Jason: One of these days!

What was that like playing with Bask?

Micah: They are all really down to earth guys. We've met em, hanging out at various shows and stuff. They gave us the rock star treatment. A fridge full of cold beer, all the pizza we could eat. The show was sold out!

I was going through my voice recorder inventorying all my interviews on there. Temptations Wings is one of the first interviews on there. I listened to Jon Schaffer of Iced Earth's interview and remembering seeing Temptations Wings open for Iced Earth! I remember you guys telling me at sound check Jon Schaffer was quoting Chappelle's Show and shouted "Darkness everybody!" when you guys were on stage, busting your balls!(laughs)

Jason: I remember that! It was epic!

You guys played with Y&T? How was that?

Micah: It was cool. Some people might not recognize the name but recognize names of songs by them.

Temptations Wings has a good following in western North Carolina and you guys have opened for some bigger touring acts. I'm very proud of you guys!

Micah: Thanks, man! We are still dumb founded by a lot of it too.

What is in the future for Temptation's Wings?

Jason: More writing, more recording, more shows.

Micah: We are trying to decide how to do our next release. We are not sure if we want to do enough songs for an EP or go ahead and wait and do a full album.

You guys have songs written? Maybe write some new songs?

Jason: Yeah we got like five ready to record right now. We'll discuss it I guess.

You guys have done well that way to always have a show coming up and put out an EP or full length album. Always having something to show for hard work and practice!

Micah: We always try to keep busy. We like to create. We try to get better every time we write a song. Trying to stay busy and stay in people’s minds. Play more shows and see what opportunities we get.

Definitely! I want to spread the word for Temptation's Wings. Let me know when you guys have some shows or music to share! I usually re post you guys' stuff on social media. Create more Bloodshed and Conquest!

Jason: We'll have to play that next time you come up. It's been a long time!

Micah: (laughs)

Skulthor Ebonblade by Temptation's Wings

What has been an awkward moment as a band?

Jason: Uh, never really awkward. There was one time we played out of town and the show was mismanaged. I kind of felt bad for the band after us because they got all there stuff out and was trying to load in and didn't get to play and ran out of time. That was weird. Never really awkward. We don't show up drunk or forget our songs.

Actually, on that show, the guy who put the show on left before our set was done. I'm not sure anyone told that last band they weren't playing. They kind of said we're done with metal for the night.

Jason: Yeah! They had to move on to a hip hop pajama party! (laughs)

Whaaaat? (laughs)

Micah: Now that you mention it that was pretty awkward. (laughs)

That's about all I've got for ya. Anything you want to push or plug?

Jason: Thanks for reaching out man! We were wondering if you were still doing anything with Mountains Moved or you changed your name or something.

I bought a domain name and am going to have a site for that down the road. I still have my ear to the ground. I have been grateful to be part of Doomed and Stoned and interview my friends Temptation's Wings again! I miss you guys! If I can help share your music let me know!

Micah: We always appreciate it, man!

My pleasure!

Micah: You were actually the first radio or any interview that we ever did. You've been there since the beginning.

Yes sir!

Micah: We appreciate all of it!

Jason, I still have that flyer you sent to MainFM. I still have it from the little press packet.

Jason: What show was that?

Probably The Get Down, back then. The flyer had a barbarian of course! (laughs) I couldn't tell you the line up to save my life.

Micah: We might have it on our wall of fame here in our practice area.

Anything else coming up?

Jason: Our end of the year festival at the Odditorium. Steel and Stone Festival 3. We are headlining. We also have Coffin Torture from South Carolina.

Sweet! Are you guys going to get 'Dismal Planet' on vinyl.

Jason: I've got one saved for me.

I think there are only 200 copies.

Jason: I've got one saved.

They are going to go fast!

Micah: They have some really cool colors too!

Hell yeah they do! I got the blood red! Once again your live album, 'Savage Tales - Live at the Grey Eagle' is on Bandcamp right?

Jason: Yeah, Bandcamp or message us on Facebook or Instagram for physical copies. Twitter, we are on there too. On the live album there are two new songs.

This Wednesday I'm going to see Midmourner, Oakskin, and Modelow in Charleston, South Carolina.

Micah: [Midmourner] played around here not to long ag0.

There was Starkfest at the Radio Room Greenville SC, Oakskin, played there. I went to the second day July 7th. Oakskin, Coffin Torture, Ape Vermin, Garrow, Horse Flesh, and Xael.

Jason: We like Ape Vermin a lot! We saw them open for Monolord at the Mothlight.

Oh my god dude! I saw posts for that. I wish I would have seen that one! Did you guys see Conan?

Jason: I did!

Jason, you lucky son a bitch!

Micah: I was unable to see Conan. I switched back to day shift so now I can see shows again.

Have you heard the new album?

Micah: Yeah, I have it. It's awesome!

I have not yet. I will open it like a bottle of wine and savor it!

Micah: Uncork it and experience it when your ready.

Well that's all from me. Thank you for your time guys!

Micah: It was good to talk to you again!

It's good to hear your voices again. Jason and Micah, have a great night! Hope you have a good practice!

Micah: We'll do it, man! Hope you have a goodnight!

I appreciate you guys. I am proud of you guys and I'll make sure not to be a stranger! I apologize to you guys!

Jason: It's fine, everyone has things going on.

Micah: Life happens! We would like to play Charleston! We have been talking about that for a long time. It has been a long time since we have been down there.

If you come down here I'll spread the good word about the show, just let me know! You guys have a goodnight!

Jason: You, too, Shawn! Thanks, man!

Micah: Thank you!

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[dearly]

Ok I agree with your points to that anon, but you can’t look at the others and compare them to Louis when they seem to be different artists. Louis seems to prioritize perfecting his album in lieu of being public whereas Niam, especially liam like to go overboard with promo. Liam also has had 2 songs out since the beginning of the year so he has more incentive to do performances whereas Louis only had MY that his label and him seemed to scrap in place of getting the album done. Also 1)

Zayn was in the middle of a promo rollout when he was dropped/left his management team. It does happen and if I remember correctly Louis actually switched labels a week or two before Back To You was released. We’re also going off of an unknown album date so for all we know the album could be dropping end of the year/next year and the rollout might start later this year. Idk just wanted to add a second opinion. 2)-end

i don’t even know where to start with this. like i said people can be as optimistic as they want, but i don’t need your second opinion when it has no basis in what we’re seeing. you people think i’m drawing conclusions based on nothing? i’m drawing conclusions based on past events. and you seem to have a completely different idea of how this shit works, putting a whole lot of decision making at louis’ feet. 

“they seem to be different artists” as in… louis is the kind of artists who doesn’t need promo? doesn’t need brand building? literally what are you even talking about? even indie artists get promo. here’s a story: last year i had peak solo louis optimism. because of his connection with high snobiety and noisey i figured OK–they are going the “indie” route. i adjusted my expectations in my head, no jingle ball and big radio bashes in sight, and i figured then he’d be doing lots of festivals this year–not radio ones, but stuff like governor’s ball, lolla, osheaga etc. the stuff that appeals to that crowd. maybe he’d be talked up to stereogum which is the arbiter of indie taste. he could do kexp live lounge etc. what did we get? nothing. and as someone who does frequent lots of indie sites let me tell you he’s not even on their radar, and if he is it’s not in a positive light.

liam has had two more songs out… is the exact point. he’s getting to release his music. and i don’t know how you’re just brushing aside the fact that MY was completely abandoned? that’s not normal. you don’t scrap a single in order to get the album done? additionally you’re forgetting that niall promoed TT for months. he then promoed SH for months and did festivals with just TT and SH under his belt. there’s absolutely not logical reason for louis to be out of the spotlight. and you seem to think louis…. decided to stop promoting MY? like i’m sorry but you’re putting so much onus on him in all of this when he’s not the one pulling the strings. they spent so much energy promoting its debut on TXF only to drop it immediately – almost like it was only TXF promo. 

i didn’t say that no artists change teams mid-rollout, i said it’s a bad sign. and how well have things worked out for zayn exactly? how much promo is he doing? right. management contracts are quite rigid and are typically on year terms, which means louis dropped them because he didn’t want to renew for another year or two because he knows how shit they’ve been (which should indicate that he is in fact not happy with how his career has been handled so far, which punches a hole in your theory that he’s just a ‘different artist’ who doesn’t want to ‘overboard’). i am very cautiously optimistic about what a new management might entail. but as i’ve said, we’ve been burned before. really, really badly. so no, i’m not going to sit here and say everything is now under control when we’ve literally not seen any indication that things have changed for the better just yet. 

as for unknown dates–louis said the album was coming in the first half of the year. that’s by the end of june. i really fucking hope that’s not when the album is actually coming because the lack of lead up is criminal and will be used to push the idea that he’s a failure. and to clarify– i don’t think he is one. i think he has the potential to do so much. but that’s not how he’s being treated or reported on. 

and no, he didn’t change labels. he was reported as being distributed by RCA in the US, that was corrected to say he was actually with epic. they are both sony subsidiaries. i believe epic is the smaller of the two labels, so if you wanna be really pessimistic i’d say sony told RCA “here you go” and they were like, “nah” so they had to shuffle him over to epic who has shown zero interest in supporting him. it’s been a nonstop waiting game. epic prioritized camila we said, “okay maybe once her album is out they’re going to give louis some focus.” didn’t happen. we won him the best solo breakout award over her, hoping that would jolt them into paying some attention to him, didn’t happen. now they’re putting all their juice in meghan trainor. syco are too busy praising harry to even know a louis and also promoting their new boyband that’s supposed to replace 1d. they don’t care about him.

considering everything that’s going on i don’t think i or anyone else can be blamed for being worried. the only thing that will reassure me is an actual change in direction and promo. not your rose coloured interpretation of events.the reality is what mika has said, and what i’ve been saying from the start: “Am I going to be in the top seven global priorities at my record company? Because if you’re not, you have to face up to that – and find other ways to get what you need to promote your career.” louis is not one of the priorities at his label. he isn’t. and maybe, hopefully his new management will help him to stay relevant and accomplish something in spite of syco/epic and can secure him a deal with a label that will prioritize him later. but we don’t know that that’s going to happen. and i don’t do blind faith or blind trust anymore. i’m still completely devastated about how wrong i was about so many things. i still cry when i think about how different i thought this “hiatus” was going to turn out. i cannot afford to be optimistic again and be crushed again. 

so please. go be optimistic somewhere else. i’m waiting for concrete proof that things have changed.

[alongtimeagoinablogfarfaraway]

Top 10 Favorite Albums of 2017

#1- This album starts with a track titled Down and it is everything that represents a calm before the storm. It is smooth and reminds us all that the two geniuses behind Run The Jewels are back. Then track #2-6 happens and our ear drums don’t have a second to calm down or recover from what happens next. I wasn’t sure if Killer Mike and El-P could top RTJ2 AND BOY WAS I STUPID TO THINK SO. I think it’s safe to say this is my favorite Run the Jewels album and if you know me that’s saying A LOT. Track #4 Call Ticketron is undeniably in contention for my favorite song of the year…or possibly the track before it Legend has it. Once I listened to this album I was sure there was nothing that would even come close to entertaining me and making me as happy as this album did listening to it. As with its two previous predecessors, Run The Jewels 3 continues to make you automatically transition from any mood into a crazy “I want to smash walls and conquer the world” kind of mood. These two play-off of each other so well and having seen them live this year I can honestly say it may be the most genuine and true rap duo out there right now. This album is pure GOLD as it would seem the hands depict on the cover. Maybe they knew they were making the epic conclusion to this history making album trilogy that have become tied for my favorite rap albums of all time. And just for those saying this came out in 2016, the physical copy dropped in stores January 2017, so shut it.

#2- The fact that this album and RTJ3 came out in the same year makes this one of the best years of releases I can remember in recent history. These two albums cannot be touched and this is by far my favorite Kendrick album since his masterpiece GKMC. DNA may be one of my favorite tracks ever and if your mood doesn’t automatically change as soon as that song comes on then there’s something wrong with you. It’s amazing to say that I am alive to witness the greatness that is Kendrick Lamar and how he just continues to demolish anyone else out there trying to be the best. He is the best and has been and after this album it’s once again proof how close no one is to him. I mean what more can you say other than Kendrick Lamar has done it once again. I mean the album was so liked that it was re released in backwards order because that’s how he said it was really supposed to be listened to. Only Kendrick could do such things. We are witnessing one of the greatest and in an age where so many are losing their likability for me and should stop (Eminem), this is refreshing. 

#3-  I was not a fan of the song Bounce Back or Moves when I heard them prior to this album releasing. That had me worried about this album. Not sure why I still doubt Big Sean so much because now his last two albums have landed at the #3 and #4 spotson my top ten lists, which is pretty damn good. Now, when listening to the album I don’t mind the two songs previously mentioned. They fit well within the album but I honestly still am not a fan of listening to them solo (I know I’m weird). Bigger than me is this album’s One man can change the world but honestly I think it’s even better. It’s such a great song and so is Jump out the window and Halfway off the balcony and I guess I could go on and on. This album surprised me because Sean’s previous album was by far his best and my favorite. After listening to this I can honestly say I may like I Decided just as much and unlike most artists these days, Big Sean seems to keep getting better with his albums and I will never doubt him again unless he makes another extremely underwhelming album like Hall of Fame again but I don’t see that happening after the last two great albums he’s released. Sean’s one of the best and still underrated rappers in my opinion but he’s definitely in my top ten of favorite rappers these days and this album showed me why and that’s why it’s all the way up at #3.

#4- CONGRATULATIONS to the 2017 Stay Trippy Award Winner. You should know what this means whether you know me or have read my previous post. Before last year I had never really listened to Dave East at all so my first real listening experience of him landed him at the #4 spot with his debut album. Impressive. And also more than deserving of the Stay Trippy Award. I first really noticed Dave East off the song Olympian from the album that happens to be up next on this list. I loved what I heard and decided to go see if there was some music of his that I could listen to and sure enough his new album had come out, which was perfect. I was very impressed and am looking forward to listening to much more of Dave East. From a song like Phone Jumpin, which is a high volume type song I love to Maneuver, which is a little more low key, Dave East is already a rapper I can say I like a lot because he well….raps. These days with the way this music is evolving and changing and becoming it’s getting hard to discover true genuine rappers like this. Instead we’ve got the Playboi Cartis of the world who quite honestly just suck, don’t even try saying they don’t.  Anyways, quite a debut for Dave East as he comes in at #4 in his first appearance on one of my top 10 lists. 

#5-This would have been the Stay Trippy Award winner but everyone knows how obsessed I am with A$AP Mob and all it’s eccentric members. A$AP Ferg is no exception and while his first album had some awesome hits, he really has never delivered at the album level for me. I expected this album to be no different. There are a lot of features on this album, which is usually a component of most A$AP albums but they all worked great like Dave East on Olympian or Cam’ron (who I did not see coming at all) on Rubber Band Man. The ultimate BANGERS on this album include Mad Man, Nasty, The Mattress (a song about fucking on a mattress and other kinds of stuff, only on an A$AP album), and East Coast Remix. I didn’t anticipate this album even making my top 10 let alone to come in at #5 but this album is the Ferg album I’ve been waiting for and I feel like what everyone else should have been waiting for if they are a fan of him. That’s’ really what it came down to with this album and I found myself listening to it more than most albums this year, which is why it was up so high on my list.

#6- This album came out later in the year without warning…sorry had to do it, and I’m glad it did because it’s pretty much all I listened to for the weeks following its release. The first two songs of the album are Ghostface Killas and Rap Saved Me and they are two of my favorite songs of the year. The combination of Metro Boomin and 21 Savage had become hit or miss for me. Their debut project Savage Mode I loved but Issa Album really didn’t do it for me. The fact that Offset (my favorite Migos member) was also a joint artist on the album made me enjoy it that much more. This is what you would expect from a Metro Boomin, 21 Savage and Offset album and that’s always a good thing to me. I listened to this album probably the most or close to the most for the last two months or so of the year. This was a fun album, had its bangers on it (sorry for using that word a lot but I do love songs with good beats and that are noisy) and definitely surprised me at how much I ended up liking it because I’m honestly not the biggest 21 Savage advocate but on an album like this I don’t mind him and am a fan of his music and hooks. 

#7- Oh Logic. He’s probably in my top 5 for favorite artists right now. His last album The Incredible True Story is still my favorite but if you’re looking for an album where someone is trying to send a message than look no further than Logic’s Everybody. Racial discrimination and civil rights issues are becoming more prevalent than ever once again and whether it’s a guest montage from the amazing Killer Mike or the many many claims that he isn’t ashamed to be black and white, this album is a movement and it’s a movement towards trying to make the world a better place. While this album wasn’t everything I hoped it would be you cannot deny appreciating the powerful message that Logic depicts and as I listened to it more and more I began to realize how great this album really is. Logic does not shy away from his feelings about race and the problems in the world right now and it’s one of the greatest displays of that from an artist on an album that I’ve seen recently. A great album with an even greater message, which is why there was never a doubt whether this would or would not crack the top ten. I mean c’mon, whats better than having a song called Black Spider-Man on your album? And it’s a fucking awesome song.

#8- My girlfriend Alexis wouldn’t stop telling me to listen to Khalid. If I didn’t credit her for my listening to this album she probably would take my head off (She actually just texted me saying “I better get a shout out”). Now not only did I enjoy this album but it was also the official Stay Trippy Award runner up. American Teen, Young, Dumb & Broke, Another Sad Love Song and 8Teen are some of my favorites off this album but the album as a whole from top to bottom is great and it just gives off the feel that the title of the album looks to embody. Let me just say that I do still hate the song Location. I wish that song wasn’t on the album but it’s whatever because I enjoy every other song very much. After listening to this album I’m very excited to see what we get next from Khalid and if I will like his next album as much as I liked his debut one. One of my favorite things every year is trying to discover new artists and finding new music and albums to listen to. This was one of my favorite examples of that happening last year and with all that being said it had to make it into my top ten list. 

#9-  Now because of how much I love A$AP some might think this is another interesting pick for my top ten but to be honest on a weaker year this may have made it much higher up on my list. What held this back from being higher up on my list was that is that while it was an impressive debut effort from one of my favorites A$AP Twelvyy, it wasn’t anything that stood out as exceptional. To be honest this album did meet my expectations and in some ways exceeded them. It has the feels of an A$AP album between the typical skits or fellow appearances from the other mob members, Twelvyy does a good job of establishing himself as a good artist. However there are many songs that depend upon some heavy features like one of my favorite tracks A Glorious Death featuring the Flatbush Zombies. There are also a couple songs here and there I found myself not too fond of, which is another reason this album ended up towards the back end of my top ten list.

#10- Last time Jay-Z released an album was in 2013 and it was Magna Carta Holy Grail. The album really wasn’t anything memorable and that hurts saying that considering we’re talking about one of the greats Jay-Z. Perhaps that was the beginning of the end. 4:44 definitely proves otherwise. Now I feel like a lot of people may be wondering why this is all the way back at #10 barely making it into the top ten. This album is great and definitely has some great songs, I mean it starts off with great back to back tracks in Kill Jay-Z and The Story of O.J. Everyone was so awed by this album going “OMG Jay-Z admitted to cheating on Beyonce”. I mean he admitted he did something wrong and while that seems to have gotten the album a lot of its initial attention, I think people began to realize the heart and soul Jay-Z sort of lets out in this album. While this wasn’t an album I listened to nonstop throughout the year there’s no denying it was one of the ten best rap/hip-hop albums to come out in the year 2017. 

2017 had A LOT of music come out from many of my favorite artists. It was honestly one of my favorite years for music but there were still come anticipated albums that did not come out that has me looking extremely forward to 2018. Let me finish by giving my top 5 most anticipated albums for 2018 as of this moment. 

1- SremmLife 3

2- Untitled A$AP Rocky album 

3- King Push (But I’m pretty sure this is the new Life of Pablo that will take years to come out because he’s already said it’s coming out two years in a row) 

4- AstroWorld

5- Untitled Schoolboy Q album 

[patricksilvrrozartistry]

Current Music Obsessions: December 1 - 16, 2017

Sorry for being a bit late on this. Been pretty busy these last few days. ANYWAYS, I don't have as many honorable mentions this time, but I still got a lot of obsessions in general. I'm still working on purging my watch later playlist, so it's probably gonna be a while before things mellow out. Anyways, here are the honorable mentions.

Ilios - Into the Void The Dark Element - The Ghost and the Reaper Deathless Legacy - Witches' Brew Corvyx - Ready For It? (Taylor Swift cover) The Great Discord - Persona Right to the Void - Lines Concealed Reality - Hakai Tasters - Jakarta Coronatus - Mountain Sky Tragul - The Message Emptiness - Ever Heretoir - Golden Dust The Augurist Complex - Eartheater Noah Cyrus - Again feat. XXXTentacion My Dinosaur Life - One Fast Move or I'm Gone Sunflower Bean - I Was a Fool Sevdaliza - Hear My Pain Heal Distorted Harmony - Natural Selection Omnimar - Not Strong Arrayan Path - The Eleventh Mantra Wildpath - Buried Moon

Here come the many real obsessions.

1) Pussy Riot - Police State

I finally got around to checking them out last year when they dropped Make America Great Again. I knew they were a controversial band before checking them out after hearing about "free Pussy Riot" a few years ago, so it doesn't shock me to see them come out with a song centered around police brutality. It has a rather upbeat sound, but the lyrics hit you in the face. Definitely am gonna check out more of their work.

2) Cher - The Greatest Thing feat. Lady Gaga

I found this gem through Twitter and I'm so mad it never got a proper release. Two of the biggest gay icons did a song together and it never got properly released. AND IT'S SUCH A GREAT SONG. It's so good!

3) The Hardkiss - Кораблi (ПРЕМ'ЄР��)

This song has a slightly different vibe to it compared to their other songs. It feels a bit darker. I think the video also helps to sell that darker vibe. It's a great song and has a catchy chorus. I'm really digging the more prog rock direction they've been going in lately. Really looking forward to their next release.

4) Madonna - Like a Prayer

I found a new "feel good" artist for me, and it's Madonna. I never really dabbled into her music, but I decided to do so recently and I found this gem. It's so lovely and just puts me in such a positive mood. If any of you want to recommend me any other songs from her, feel free to do so.

5) The Hit House - The Ordinary World

I wasn't all that interested in The Evil Within when it first came out a few years ago, because the story just seemed to be boring and lackluster in the beginning, but after watching Metal Ass Gaming play the beginning of the second one, I had to give it another shot. So I watched Markiplier play it and liked it, then I watched him play the second and LOVED IT. Such a wonderful game that is unexpectedly emotional. And this is the ending theme song. It fits the game so well and I love the overall vibe of it. It has a nice atmospheric rock feel to it with a bit of a cinematic vibe.

6) Dool - The Alpha

I finally got around to listening to their new album and loved it. Such a great doomy rock album. This song is definitely one of my favorites off it. I find myself singing the chorus quite frequently because it's so catchy. I really need to check their front woman, Ryanne van Dorst's other project Elle Bandita and see how they differ.

7) The Great Discord - Gadget

The Rabbit Hole is such an epic album and is a massive improvement compared to their last release. Duende was great, but this is on some next level shit. This song alone shows how much they've grown and evolved since then. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would ever hear "woohoo" sung in a pretty voice in a progressive metal track, but these guys did it and it's wonderful. Definitely go give this album a listen.

8) Debler - Cuando las Estrellas dejen de Brillar feat. Ailyn (ex-Sirenia)

So this song is fucking beautiful. Ailyn and Debler's frontman's voices go so beautifully together. Not only that, but Ailyn hits some impressive whistle notes. She's pretty much the symphonic/gothic metal scene's version of Mariah Carey, but isn't a diva and is precious and needs to be protected.

9) Deadspace - The Liquid Sky

These guys actually messaged me on here about a month or so ago and I'm so glad they did. Their music is amazing. @deadspaceaus are a blackened doom metal band from Australia and their frontman has a gorgeous voice. I'm so looking forward to listening to their new album, because this song alone has me intrigued. Definitely go check them out.

10) My Propane - Before You Are Dead

This is their latest song they've released and it's epic and in your face from start to finish. I love how before the song starts, Valerio just calmly says "Ok, here we go" and then the guitars kick in and he's screaming right afterwards. I can't wait for them to release a full length album.

11) Vuur - The Fire ~ San Francisco

This is one of the standouts off their debut album. It has such an interesting vibe to it. Anekke said in a track-by-track video that the high notes she sings are to represent the sirens of firetrucks. How creative is that? I also find it slightly ironic that I got into this song just as the wildfires in SoCal were making media attention.

12) Ciara - Paint it Black (The Rolling Stones cover)

I randomly found this cover and fell in love instantly. I never expected to hear something like this from her. It's so cinematic and so dark and haunting. I love it. I honestly prefer over the original version. There's just something about this version that is so much better than the original. Maybe it's because it's so dramatic, and you guys know that I LOVE dramatic music.

13) Muna - I Know a Place

The About U album is wonderful and full of so much emotion. This song is definitely one of the more positive and upbeat ones on it. It's not one of my favorites off it, but it's definitely a great jam.

14) Elegy of Madness - Nobody Cares

Discovered this song through an acoustic version their record label shared on YT, so I decided to see if I could find a studio version and I got obsessed. It's so catchy, but it's so epic and powerful. I'm definitely am gonna check out more from them.

15) Tyminski - Southern Gothic

This is the closest I'm probably am ever going to get to listening to country music, all because it doesn't sound like mainstream country music. The only bit that sounds remotely country to me is the singer's voice. Everything else sounds like a modern pop song and I love it. Even the vibe of the song itself doesn't seem like a country song. I'm very interested in this guy and will be checking out more in the future.

16) Kari Rueslatten - Gone

Silence is the Only Sound has a very different vibe compared to To the North. It sounds a bit more positive and peaceful and not as ambient and mellow. This song is one of the least upbeat songs on the album and has more of a pop-rock-ish vibe to it. Really digging it.

17) My Indigo - My Indigo

This is Sharon den Adel (Within Temptation)'s new solo project and I'm blown away. This song is so gorgeous and lovely. I didn't expect it to be as powerful as it is. I'm always finding myself singing "my indigo" throughout the day. Definitely go check this out and I'm so excited to hear the full length album.

18) Plague of Stars - When Morning Came (live)

They shared this live video on their channel, so I checked it out and was blown away. I've been a fan of Melissa Ferlaak for a few years and this project is the heaviest and most aggressive she's been a part of. I really need to listen to their debut album already, especially since new songs are in the works.

19) Bent Knee - Terror Bird

This song got stuck in my head one day and wouldn't leave for days, all thanks to me not remembering what it was. It was actually these posts that helped me find it! It made on here a while back. It's a really great prog track and their front woman has such an interesting voice. I imagine this would be what Bjork would sound like if she made a prog album.

20) Revenience - Shamble

I rekindled my love for this song recently. It's a really great symphonic metal track with a bit of a prog-power vibe to it. I had the chorus stuck in my head for a few days after I randomly listened it, and that's how the obsession started all over again. I really need to check out more from them.

21) Starkill - All I Want for Christmas is You

MARIAH CAREY WHO? They SLEIGHED this song! I'm not a fan of the original since it's so overplayed, but this version is wonderful. Adding this onto my list of nontraditional Christmas songs I can listen to to get in the holiday spirit.

That's it for the first half of December. I wonder what other gems I'll come across this month.

[lady-divine-writes]

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Passive, But Still Aggressive” (Rated T)

Sebastian forgets an important anniversary. Kurt doesn't. And Kurt handles it ... well, like Kurt. (2554 words)

Read on AO3.

Sebastian pulls his Porsche into underground parking, rolling in at about five miles below the speed limit. He stays between the lines, conscientiously following the yellow arrows that lead to his assigned spot, taking his time to maneuver his car into the dead center of his space. He’s stalling, and since he’s alone, he won’t bother denying it. He seriously considers sleeping here the seven hours until morning … in his car … underground. He’d wake up with a crick in his neck and a kink in his back, but he’d deserve it.

Kurt had expected Sebastian home hours ago. They were supposed to have dinner together. They eat dinner together most every night, but Kurt had stressed the fact that tonight they needed to have dinner together. He emphasized it not only like it was important, but like Sebastian should know why it was important.

But Sebastian didn’t catch on, even when the universe itself tried to give him clues.

He misplaced his wedding ring twice today. Sebastian never misplaces his wedding ring because he never takes it off. But he had to today twice – once when he accidentally stuck his hand in maple syrup, and the second time when a blue ballpoint pen exploded in his hand. He had to take his ring off both times to clean it, and then promptly misplaced it, but only for a minute – long enough to give his heart a jolt.

That should have been the only clue he needed, but being a rather dense male, it wasn’t.

The wedding party limo that passed him on the highway, decorated with white paper bells and silver tinsel, should have been his second clue. But when Sebastian saw it, he rolled his eyes, thankful that on their wedding day, he and his husband were able to escape the reception for the airport in his Porsche instead of taking the limo that his groomsmen had decorated with hundreds of inflated condoms.

The Heppermyer’s 50th Anniversary celebration, taking place at a table not too far from his during the dinner he should have been sharing with Kurt, should have been the hammer that clobbered him over his thick skull. He even sent a bottle of champagne to the happy couple’s table, and they sent him a piece of their cake – a green tea flavored Japanese inspired confection that he thought for sure that Kurt would enjoy.

But, ironically, it didn’t.

Kurt’s uncharacteristic radio silence after two, “Where are you?” texts didn’t do it, either.

No. Unfortunately it wasn’t until Sebastian left the strip club (girl dancers only so he felt safe entertaining there) and the song “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston came on his iPod over the car’s speakers that it hit him.

When Whitney sang the verse, “I have nothing if I don’t have you,” it hit him hard.

Today (technically yesterday, but Sebastian was leaping over shock and starting in the denial stage), was his and Kurt’s fifth wedding anniversary. The wood anniversary - oddly appropriate since Sebastian Smythe was officially a humongous block head.

But instead of realizing early enough to come home and salvage the night (by the skin of his teeth the way he usually does), it’s after 1:30 a.m. when Sebastian returns home from his new client meeting.

He could have bowed out hours ago; this client in particular wasn’t that important.

Nothing’s as important as his husband.

But Sebastian was having a moment.

He was riding high on scoring a win, so to speak, which came with it a moment of, “Why do I have to answer to anybody?” and, “I’m a grown man, I’ll do what I want.” Both of those moments may have been fueled by adrenaline and alcohol, but they were still significant at the time.

“It’s only the fifth year anniversary,” Sebastian consoles himself, making the decision to leave his car, go up to their penthouse, and face the music. He feels to onset of a mild hangover coming on (mostly from the adrenaline – he only had two beers, and he’d burned those off before he got behind the wheel). Plus, he has to shower. He smells like whiskey and cigarettes, and even though he didn’t order a lap dance, he somehow managed to come home wearing glitter. “How big a deal can someone make over a wood themed anniversary?”

Sebastian apparently forgot for a second who he was married to until he opened the front door and got a great, big, cedar-scented reminder.

Positioned five feet in front of the door, so it would be the first thing Sebastian would see when he got home, sits a round table draped in a white cloth, and covered in gifts. A handful of them are wrapped, but after seeing the ones that aren’t, the ones that are simply set up on display, he’s not sure he wants to see the wrapped ones. The ones he can see are so perfect and sentimental, the wrapped ones must surely be devastating.

In the center of the table is a polished wood vase, carved with Celtic knots, with a bouquet of red paper roses inside. Sebastian knows Kurt made the roses. They’d taken an origami class together at the Museum of Natural History about a year ago. Kurt excelled at it. Every chance he got, he practiced the craft, creating swans and cranes and little nesting boxes every time his hands got bored. Sebastian, however, could only manage a frog. It hopped to the left once, landed sideways, then never hopped again.

Next to the vase, he sees a wooden photo album that has their names and wedding date burned onto the cover, along with a mandala so intricate he can only imagine it took months to create. The album doesn’t close flat, bursting with pages Sebastian knows Kurt scrapbooked himself. Beside that sits a wooden plaque, again with their names burned into it, and on individual slats below that, important dates from their relationship. For most people, it would probably start with “first date”, but Kurt has listed “first fight”, then “first date”, “first I love you”, “first time”, the day Sebastian asked Kurt to marry him, the date they got married, followed by a handful of empty slats, presumably for special dates to come (provided their marriage doesn’t end tonight). He sees a wood wine rack filled with his favorite imported beer; a hand painted sign (in Kurt’s crisp but chaotic writing) that reads – I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but I want to spend every irritating minute with you; and a neatly constructed Jenga tower, each block of this version bearing penned words along the side describing something dirty they could do to one another – things they could have been doing to one another all night long if Sebastian hadn’t been such an imbecile.

Sebastian sighs, breathing in and catching a whiff of a final touch that might bring him to tears. While he had been munching on subpar Chicken Alfredo in a hotel restaurant, Kurt had made Sebastian’s favorite – parchment wrapped salmon and burgundy poached pears.

And for Kurt on this special day, Sebastian has only his sad self, smelling like liquor, covered in glitter, with a grand total of nothing planned. He hadn’t even remembered to stop by somewhere to pick up a pathetic apology bouquet.

Of course, he never would have imagined how much he’d have to apologize for.

Oh dear God, Sebastian thinks to himself. I really dropped the ball on this one.

Sebastian has no idea what to do – absolutely no idea. He hasn’t heard Kurt yet. Maybe he’s asleep. That would give Sebastian time to run back out and try to find him … something. But what? Anything that Sebastian could buy at a gas station or a Walmart would be an insult to the exceptional and thoughtful gifts that Kurt had obviously taken months to put together.

He could take a shower, slip into bed, and feign illness – claim that the tuna tartar he ate at lunch gave him an epic case of the shits and he was stuck at the office till just an hour ago. Then he could stay home tomorrow, email his personal shopper and tell her to break the bank, up her commission and just go gaga.

Gaga! Lady Gaga! Kurt’s still head over heels for her. And Sebastian’s heard that if you slip her foundation a couple mill, she’ll come have dinner with you. Before he can jump on his iPhone to check if that’s true, he catches a tired and unhappy Kurt peeking out from their bedroom. Sebastian’s stomach lurches, which he takes as a sign, so he goes with his gut.

“I’m sorry,” he says, rushing past the table of wonderful presents and heading towards his husband with arms outstretched. “I am so, so, so sorry. I …” He was about to say that he completely forgot, but that would be heartbreaking. “I have no excuse,” he goes for instead as Kurt slowly steps out, walking towards Sebastian with red eyes and a wobbly lower lip “I ... it’s just, I brought in a new client at work, and I was so excited, I …”

Kurt walks up to Sebastian with a mixed expression in his eyes. Sebastian doesn’t know what he’s thinking, or what he’s about to do. On one hand, Sebastian expects Kurt to break down and start crying.

On the other hand, he can also see Kurt kicking him in the balls and punching him in the nose.

“It’s been a while since I’ve brought in a new client at work,” Sebastian continues, trying to earn sympathy he doesn’t deserve. He���s telling the truth, but it feels like he’s chumping out, “and I thought …”

Kurt puts delicate fingers to Sebastian’s lips and shushes him. “Sebastian,” Kurt says in a thick voice that’s incredibly even, “I understand.”

Sebastian scrunches his nose, looking at Kurt as if he’s never seen this man before. Where’s the high-pitched wail? Where’s the crossed arms? Where’s the splotchy red cheeks? “You … you do?”

“Yes. I do,” Kurt says, tight smile notwithstanding. “I talked to your secretary. She told me everything. I know this account was important to you. And even though it’s our anniversary, and I must have reminded you that tonight was important a dozen times, it’s alright that you went out and wooed your client instead.”

“It … it is?”

“Yes.” The shadow of a scowl plays on Kurt’s lips as he runs a finger down the slope of Sebastian’s shoulder, picking up traces of glitter and sweeping it away. “It is.”

“So, we’re … we’re cool?”

“Of course, we’re cool. We’ll … just … let it lie for now, and celebrate tonight … right?” It sounds more like a threat than a compromise, but Sebastian is in no position to turn it down.

“Right,” Sebastian says. “Absolutely.” Sebastian takes Kurt’s arms, feeling bolder since Kurt’s being so lenient. “I’ll take you to your favorite restaurant, your favorite nightclub, and we’ll spend the evening living it up. Just you and me. I’ll even rent a limo.” He pulls Kurt in to his embrace and nuzzles his husband’s neck. “We can feed each other strawberries, drink some champagne … we’ll tell the driver to put the partition up, crank the music on high, and we can go for a drive … a nice long drive …”

“Sounds great.” Kurt lets Sebastian kiss him on the lips. Or it will sound great, his tone relays, after I’ve slept, and after you’ve made this up to me.

“I’m gonna go get out of my suit and take a shower,” Sebastian whispers seductively. “You wanna join me?”

“Sure. Why not?” Kurt says it, but he doesn’t sound too happy about it. “Let me just get dinner put away. We can eat it later.” Another threat, but Sebastian’s just happy this is resolving itself painlessly.

It’s a little creepy, but Sebastian’s not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Kurt pats Sebastian on the arm, then walks past him to the kitchen. Sebastian waits, watches Kurt go before he heads for their bedroom to take off his suit and get his pajamas. Well, that was … interesting, he thinks. He’s tempted to pat himself on the back for that one, revel in getting away from his heinous act without a scratch, but he can’t, because all he can think about is his excited husband putting together that fabulous dinner, setting up that table full of gifts, probably dressing up in one of his gorgeous designer suits, and then waiting all night for his louse of a husband to get home.

And when he didn’t, Kurt got upset. Of course, he got upset. He was livid. He cursed, called Sebastian ever name in the book. Maybe he even considered packing up a bag and going to a hotel.

He definitely cried.

And yet, here they were, preparing to take a shower together, and Sebastian can’t help feeling lucky that they’ve finally gotten to a point where Kurt doesn’t fly off the handle when Sebastian makes a mistake. Because they’re only five years into this. Sebastian’s pretty damned sure that he’s going to make plenty more mistakes.

Thankfully, Sebastian married a fair and even-tempered man.

But …

… it hasn’t always been that way, and Sebastian can’t imagine why the change, the sudden change, especially tonight. And that kind of bothers him. It feels like the calm before the storm.

So, if this is the calm, when’s the storm going to hit?

Sebastian goes to their room. He sheds his suit and hangs it in a bag, trying his best not to rain glitter all over their wood floor. He’s going to have to pay extra to get that glitter out. He sweeps up the detritus so that Kurt won’t have to see it in the morning. Hopefully a good night’s … or morning’s … sleep is all he’ll need to smooth out the rough patches that are still being rubbed raw. But Sebastian has to fix this. He has to think of something that will equal that table full of presents and all the thought that went into them.

He opens his underwear drawer. He’d normally go to sleep naked but tonight that might not be the way to go. When he pulls out a pair of briefs, he discovers that that’s a good call. The storm has hit, and the casualties are numerous.

He grabs a pair of his underwear and heads towards the kitchen. Kurt’s just about finished putting dinner away, piling Tupperware in neat stacks on the middle shelf.

Sebastian clears his throat.

“Yes?” Kurt turns. Sebastian holds up a pair of his briefs … from the hole cut in the crotch.

Kurt doesn’t acknowledge the defiled underwear, just looks straight into Sebastian’s eyes with an eerie calm.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Sebastian asks.

Kurt nods. “I’m sure,” he says, returning to his work.

“Alrighty then. We’re still cool?”

“Still cool.”

“Good,” Sebastian says, tossing his briefs into the trash. “That’s … that’s good.”

Sebastian backs away slowly to get ready for that shower.

And he’ll hide Kurt’s scissors in case anything changes.